Just Daddy & Me

Saturday sessions for Dads and their Under Fives

As we sat in a monthly prayer meeting for our Parent Toddler group, one of the mums made a passing comment that sounded like, ‘why isn't there something like a toddler group for dads to give us a break now and again!’ and we thought, ‘why isn't there?. This is something we could do’. So started ‘Just Daddy and me’.

That was in 2000 and it is now an established monthly feature in our Church outreach to young families. If you were to pass the church hall on such a Saturday, there would be the very tempting smell of bacon and coffee wafting out of the doors, sometimes accompanied by a blue haze of smoke if our excellent and faithful cooks have had the gas on too high!

We have been as low as eight dads at a session and up as high as thirty six. However many are there, it's a wonderfully exciting ministry in which to be involved.

Our reasons for running these sessions are in the main threefold:-

• To serve our mums by creating this space for them even if it is only a few hours.
• To facilitate a time and place where young dads can meet up with others in a similar position and where they may observe their little ones interact with other children in a way they don't usually have the opportunity to do.
• As a Church group with a heart to reach out to the community with the gospel, it is our privilege to meet up with many mums week by week. ‘Just Daddy and me’ affords us the opportunity to meet with the dads, the husbands and partners of our mums, in prayerful hope of building bridges and friendships by which we earn the right to share the good news of the love of Jesus.

In practical terms, the hall set up, is just the same as our midweekly parent toddler group - the baby area, craft area, book corner, home corner, large apparatus and ride-ons and toy area.

Rather than start with our story and song time, due to the fact that some of the dads stroll in a little late, we have the song time at the end. One dad told me, ‘I got up at five o'clock this morning to get the two girls ready for this!’ Bear in mind we start at ten o'clock! Bless him.

I suppose we started ‘Just Daddy...’ rather impulsively because it sounded such a good idea. If I were to recommend such a group to another church (and I would heartily do so) I think I would also recommend they do a little homework first, by way of sounding out the men in their church to see the level of interest they could expect. I have to say, I have been a little disappointed but hopefully it's improving.

After two years, we were able to hand ‘Just Daddy & Me’ it over to some Church Dads which is marvellous. Dads and Grandads help cook in the kitchen and they do a great job. Dads are so helpful clearing up and so quick so we can't find a lot of things on Tuesdays!

The fruits of the group are many. The mums have told us how much they appreciate the time, some meet for coffee, some have gone for a ‘facial’ or just a quiet wander round town without a little person in tow.

The dads also are very appreciative of the time. At the end of one song time, one of the dads remarked, ‘I've never seen that side of my daughter's character before’. She had just sung a solo into the microphone for us because she knew different words to ‘Twinkle, Twinkle...’

A mum reported back on a Tuesday that her husband had told her ‘I never thought I'd hear myself singing songs about Jesus’.

These Saturdays are really wonderful times. There's a very lively buzz of male conversations, shared play-time between dad and little one and a safe environment for the children to explore on their own before coming back to check up on dad.

We have seen a number of families come to particularly the family services at the church, and we now look forward to maybe a men's breakfast in the not too distant future to which we can invite these lovely dads.

This seems such an easy and marvellous idea, it's surprising that there are not many more similar groups or that we hadn't thought of it before. We pray that God will be pleased to pour out His blessings on our and all such groups.

Let me finish with this rather startling statistic.

If a child is the first of the family to become a Christian, approximately 3.5% of families follow.

If a mum is the first person of the family to become a Christian, then about 17% of families follow.

However, if a dad is the first of the family to become a Christian, a startling 93% of families follow!

We would be very foolish and neglectful not to do anything to reach fathers.

Gaynor Pritchard — 2003

Since this article was first written, similar iniatives have started up across the UK. A very inspiring example of this is the Who Let The Dads Out group based in Cheshire who have an excellent website and a vision for encouraging and equipping others.